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How to treat friends who have been laid off.

 

Job Loss Etiquette

At a time when unemployment is measured daily and many are either experiencing a furlough, lay-off, or knows someone who is, we need to consider how we interact with those who have been asked to leave their jobs.  This is a difficult situation for all of us, but even worse for those who are walking out the door.  So, it is especially important to be gracious and considerate of their feelings. 

Put Your Listening Ears On

Listen to your friend.  Listening skills are always important, but even more so now. Remembering that your friend doesn’t need you to “fix” the problem, allow her to talk.  

Display Just the Right Amount of Empathy

Your friend isn’t dying, so it is best not to behave as if she is.  Empathize and offer to do whatever you can, even directly asking what you can do. Then back up and allow her some space.  

Who’s to Blame?

Convey that none of this is her fault and there are countless who are sharing this same experience right now.  

Validation

Validate your friend’s feelings.  When she states her feelings accept them, agreeing that they are valid, but do not try to analyze them.  Just stating that you feel that she was proficient at her job may help her the most; she just may be feeling at an all-time low.  Remind her of her obvious and not-so-obvious talents and how you feel she would be an asset to any company.

Continue the Relationship

Email or call your friend often.  If you regularly went to lunch, meet every couple of weeks, even picking up the tab.  Include her in activities you have shared in the past.  If you walked during your lunch hour, most likely, this is something she will miss.   Perhaps giving your friend a “just laid off gift” might bring a smile to her face. DVDs and gift cards to her favorite coffee shop are great ideas. And, ask for some of her resumes to pass around. You never know when you might meet someone who could help her.   

Don’t

  • Compare notes.  This isn’t about you.  
  • Share the newest rumor about more layoffs.  This just might make her feel worse as if there is no hope to find another job.  
  • Suggest job searching techniques unless requested.  She is probably working very diligently at finding a job.
  • Spout off old sayings like, “One door opens… .”  This isn’t helpful when a person has just had a huge door shut in her face.  
  • Bad mouth the company or your boss, as you still work there, it isn’t helpful, and she just may return to her job or work with these people in the future.

More by Rebecca

Time to Polish Our Professional Presence

Job Seeking Using the Internet & Good Social Skills

How To Keep Your Current Job, While Preparing for the Next


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