Interview: business meals & handshakes

Etiquette Skills Essential in Business

Interview of an Etiquette Instructor

Q) What is the biggest NO-NO during a business lunch: Spaghetti? Burping? Slurping? Elbows on the table?

A) That is a tough one since there are many pitfalls for business meal manners.  However, I believe the biggest no-no is ignoring everyone at the table or interrupting fellow diners.  The table is a place to share and during the business meal that means polished communication skills are necessary. 

Additionally, shoving food into your mouth, holding a fork as a shovel, and hovering over a meal conveys more interest in eating rather than those at the table.  It also displays a lack of table manners.

Table manners speak volumes about a person.  If a diner pushes food onto a fork with a finger, burp, slurp, or plants their elbows on the table, it conveys indifference of dining partners—as if they are unimportant. 

The most important dining rule is that we all feel comfortable at the table, and we are not comfortable with sloppy or disinterested diners.

Q)  Please describe the perfect handshake.

A) Due to the pandemic and future outbreaks, handshakes are imprudent.  In fact, elbow bumps, a nod, or fist bumps are now acceptable. However, if the importance of handshakes return...here we go.  

The perfect handshake begins with an extended dry right hand.  Grasp another’s hand as tightly as your he/she does, not too tightly, never wimpy, and shake gently, yet assertively.   All the while, each keeps eye contact while smiling.  That said, cultural differences need to be considered like eye contact and smiling.  However, in this culture, eye contact, smiling and a good handshake is a trust issue.

Q)  Please list some rules, like making eye contact, sitting up straight, elbows on the table, etc.

For table manners:

• Always remember, that you want everyone to feel comfortable.
• Do not hover over your food; sit up straight.
• Do not hold your utensils like shovels.
• Elbows should be close to your sides, not flapping about or placed on the table.
• Cut and eat one bite at a time.
• Chew with your mouth closed and do not stuff your mouth.
• Do not reach.
• Never place a utensil on the table after it has been used.
• Do not blow on hot food.
• Gristle is removed from the mouth with utensil and placed on the plate.  
• No hats at the table.  That includes baseball caps.
• Do not apply lipstick, clean fingernails, or comb hair at the table.
• If unsure of what to do, watch the host.
• Always use the utensil that makes the most sense.
• We all share and learn about each other at meals.
• No cellphone use.
• The essence of good manners is caring for those around you.

For conversation:

• Keep good eye contact.
• Allow everyone to have a turn to speak.
• No interrupting.
• Stay current, keep up with current events.
• No ethnic slurs or degrading language.
• Listen.

For all of us:

Treat others as you wish to be treated, with respect, kindness, and courtesy. 

More by Rebecca

The Importance of an Elevator Speech

Time to Polish Our Professional Presence

Job Seeking Using the Internet & Good Social Skills